I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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