Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
