Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
