I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
