I bet he comes in French.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
