he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
