What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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