I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
