I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
