just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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