Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
