i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
