i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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