its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
