just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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