wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My penis needs a shock collar
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
