Soap is not a condiment
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
