member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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