can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
