She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
