I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
