Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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