Having a random hookup so left but love u
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
