Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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(248): View more from Michigan

remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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(847): View more from Illinois

She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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(585): View more from New York

please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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(631): View more from New York

Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

(516): View more from New York

lol... you weighed it?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble

(847): View more from Illinois

I'm high. ignore me

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(419): View more from Ohio

Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.

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