Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do vagina's smell?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Green mimosas i think yes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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