remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize