I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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