I look better un-naked...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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