i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
