dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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