I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Never joke about your clitoris.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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