You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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