i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish I only lived at night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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