I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
