I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
