I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
