tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
