note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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