Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
