she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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