I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize