apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
