He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
