Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
