is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize