He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish my penis had an off switch
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
