All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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