im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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