Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
