Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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