I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
