He is an equal opportunity slut.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
