Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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