There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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