it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was like eating out sand paper
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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