Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
